The Perfect Girl
by lifethatyouhate
Summary: Carly wants to go to Hawaii, Freddie wants the perfect girl- and Sam just wants ham. Seddie!
1. The Criteria

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, or any of the characters on it.

Author's Note: So, this story starts out slightly…_misleading_. Haha, next chapter you'll understand. :D I'll still be updating my other story of course, but I got this idea last night before I went to sleep, and I wrote it down on a paper to remember it- and I just _had_ to write it today. Hope you like it, it'll be about…nine to ten chapters, I think.

"I really, really, really, really, really, really-," Carly started, but Sam merely rolled her eyes. "We get it!" she said, though a grin was on her face as she looked at her friend, who merely rolled her eyes. Freddie protested immediately, coming to the defense of his 'true love.' "Let her say whatever she wants to- if she wants to say fifty really annoying reallys, let's hear her out," he said, folding his arms as he stared sternly at Sam.

Carly merely frowned. "Well, as much as I want to finish up with my _annoying_ reallys!" she snapped, and Freddie dropped his hands to his side as Sam stood up next to him. They exchanged a nervous look. Carly could be quite terrifying when she was angry. They stayed quiet then, giving her reassuring smiles to let her know that they wanted her to continue- though it was a lie for _both_ of them.

"I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, _really_ want to go to Hawaii guys!" she exclaimed, and they both looked at each other and sighed. Lately Carly had been extremely preoccupied with raising money and going to Hawaii- Spencer made it worse, constantly relaying stories to her of times he had gone, and speaking of how wonderful it was.

Sam knew it was her best friend's dream to go to Hawaii, but it still annoyed her. "Sorry cupcake, but neither us nor your brother have got the moolah for that kind of trip," she said, and Freddie sighed, nodding. "It would be overly expensive for a trip for us to go to Hawaii," he agreed, and Sam rolled her eyes.

"Can't you just talk like a normal person?" she demanded, but all he did was glare at her. Carly just rolled her eyes- she was more than just used to their fighting. She went into their kitchen, getting some iced tea.

"I have a plan, actually. A great, fantastic plan to get us going to Hawaii!" she said enthusiastically. Freddie and Sam sighed as they followed her in. Sam hopped onto a barstool, resting her head on her propped up arms as she stared at Carly. "Okay, Carls, if you've got such a great idea- shoot!" she said, and Carly smirked.

"Well," she started, and the smile on Freddie and Sam's face died out. Carly's plans always made them nervous. "I was thinking that if we had an iCarly sponsored car wash, we would get loads of money! Then we'd have more than enough to get us four to the wonderful beaches of Hawaii," she said with a dramatic hand motion, pronouncing Hawaii strangely.

Sam's first instinct was to laugh, but she closed her eyes, trying not to. Carly still noticed this though, and folded her arms, glaring at her friend. "Sorry, sorry. It's not the idea I'm laughing at- it's just…you," she said, and Carly rolled her eyes.

"Look, cupcake, I'm all in for getting us four…well, I'm all in for getting me, you, and Spence to Hawaii and getting a dog cage to ship Fredward in, but we'd have to be charging a lot of cash per car to get the four of us to Hawaii," she said, and Freddie gave her a dirty look, his eyes narrowed.

"I hate to agree with Sam- but she's right," he said though, another loud sigh escaping him. "We'd have to charge way too much per car- and nobody is going to pay a lot just for a car wash from us," he mumbled, shaking his head. Sam rolled her eyes, knowing he was only upset because he had to go against Carly and agree with her instead.

Carly sighed, but then her face brightened up again quickly. "Well, I have another great idea! We'll do the carwash _and_ take donations from our viewers! I bet they'd love to help us out! Plus, I have some money saved up from my birthday," she said smugly, and Sam jumped up. "Whoa, you got tons of cash on your birthday. You saved it _all_?" she asked, surprised. She wouldn't have been able to have enough self control to keep all that to herself for that long, _that_ was for sure.

"Mhm. So, what do you guys think?" Carly asked. The smug expression disappeared from her face as nervousness replaced it. Carly's biggest fear was rejection- Freddie and Sam knew that very well. They exchanged a glance with each other several times, mulling it over in their heads before a grin lit up Freddie's face, and a smirk lit up Sam's.

"Way to go Carls, we'll be in Hawaii in no time!" she said enthusiastically, and Carly hugged her. "Yay!" she said cheerfully, though she had had no doubt that her best friend would like her plan anyways.

Freddie smiled at her, nodding. "Yeah, you always have great plans Carly," he said, and Sam rolled her eyes, pushing him away from her and her best friend.

"Freddork, why don't you stop dreaming about your 'perfect girl' and realize that _she will never love you_?" she asked, and Freddie glared at her, his eyes narrowed. "Why don't you-," he started, but Carly quickly grabbed the spray bottle from on top of the fridge and sprayed each of them in the face.

Freddie glared at Sam and she glared at him as they both wiped their faces with their sleeves. "Sam, apologize," Carly said, her expression very stern. Sam rolled her eyes and winced as if she were approaching the date of her death sentence, but she finally managed to spit out- not exactly to Freddie, but in his direction- "I'm _not really_ sorry, Fredward," she said, coughing through not really.

Carly just rolled her eyes. "Besides, Freddie's mom told me what his 'perfect girl criteria' is, and I don't fit that," Carly smirked, and Freddie's jaw dropped. "My mom _told you _about that?" he demanded, and Carly and Sam instantly started laughing at him, though he tried to stop them.

"_You_…YOU! have a perfect girl criteria. Why would a perfect girl date a baboon like you, anyways?" Sam asked, still laughing. Freddie tried to ignore her, but he shouted out eventually, "I am not a baboon!"

Sam ignored him, hopping up onto the counter as she turned to Carly. "So, what's the tech weenie's criteria, Carls?" she asked, and Carly shot a glance at Freddie. "Well, she has to be his height-," "Don't worry Freddie, even midgets find love- but I _have _never seen a midget as ugly as you," Sam added on, and Freddie glared at her.

"She has to have long hair- he likes long hair," she said, and Sam glanced at her friend's shoulder length hair, and at Freddie, who only came up to her friend's forehead. "Wow, Freddork, I thought you'd model your criteria completely _after_ Carly, not the opposite of her." "I'm not looking for the perfect girl, I just said-," he started, but Carly interrupted him.

"I think I fit in like, two of these- she has to be independent, smart, get along with his mom- and most of all," Carly said, and Freddie groaned, turning away in embarrassment. "She has to like _some_ of the stuff he likes. That's when his mom explained that he had such 'diverse' interests that it's very hard to find a girl like that," Carly nodded, and Sam burst out laughing.

"Keep dreaming, Fredward," she snickered, and he glared over at her as she hopped off the counter, heading up the stairs as the other two followed her to make the iCarly show asking for donations.


	2. The Carwash

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters on it.

Author's Note: So this chapter shows what I meant by _misleading_- but I'm sure all the Seddie fans at least will be happy after reading this. :D

Sam, Carly, and Freddie hadn't expected much business from their carwash. They had prepared for roughly twenty cars- maybe more, if they were lucky. But there were a lot of carwashes- every corner seemed to have somebody holding an advertising piece of cardboard up in the air on it. But they got _much_ more than they expected.

Thanks to Spencer, that is.

Spencer had created a new invention for them to use that washed cars quickly and easily- each person held a handle with a makeshift hand connected to it. You stuck the wet, soapy rag in the hand and held the button down- it would swirl around in circles and clean the spot in only seconds. Rinse it off, put on a dry towel, and dry it in the same amount of times. Cars were flying by and practically handing over their ten dollars.

"This is great!" Freddie told Sam, who was washing a car next to him. She turned and stared at him, then shoved the wet, soapy invention against his bare chest, and he squealed, recoiling away from it instantly. "That was uncalled for!" he screamed out at her, and a smirk lit up her face as she ran away from the car she was washing. Carly rolled her eyes as she finished the car up ahead of it, grabbing Sam's dismissed weapon and cleaning the next car instead as Freddie took off running after her.

He reached out a hand to grab her, but all his hand touched was bare skin- she was wearing a bikini top and board shorts, and he had reached his hand around her stomach. She stopped dead in her tracks, turning to him with shock. Freddie blushed instantly, dropping his hands. "Sorry Sam, I didn't mean to-," "This is just a carwash Freddie, and your one true love is over there cleaning a car by yourself, so don't get all touchy feely dork!" she screamed out at him, causing everyone in a mile radius to turn and stare at him as she marched back over to Carly, snatching the invention out of her hand.

That was when it all went wrong.

Suddenly Carly shrieked as she was washing the back window- the hand reached up and slammed through the class. Sam gasped, jumping to help Carly, but at the same time her hand was punching the side of the car, removing paint and causing dents. Carly's invention fell into the man's car- she had taped the button down to make it easier, and so there is was, ruining his interior and punching the poor man.

"Oh my god!" Carly screamed, and she turned to Sam for help. Freddie was close behind them suddenly. "Shove me in the car, Freddie!" Sam screamed, needing a boost to push her into the spot the glass had broken, since the man had all the doors locked- and trying to keep the invention off of him looked like he wouldn't have the time to unlock the doors for her.

Freddie carefully grabbed Sam's waist as Carly held onto her feet, and they propelled her in past the broken glass as the man screamed. "Why are you in my car?" he shouted at her, and she grabbed the invention away from him, snapping it in half easily. "I'm saving your life!" she snarled at him as the hand slowly stopped moving. Spencer had finally gotten there, running from two blocks away where he was holding a sign as well.

"I am so, so sorry guys!" he said as the man screamed, unlocking the door and shoving Sam out. "Oh, you're welcome," Sam mumbled as she landed on the concrete. Freddie held out a hand to her, and he didn't think she would take it at first, but then she sighed, grabbing his hand and hauling herself up. "Thanks Fredward," she mumbled. As always, Freddie was amazed at how she managed to turn his _name_ into an insult.

Spencer wiped his face, sighing as he walked away from the man. "Carly- we have to give half of all of the money we've got for the trip to this man to pay for all of the repairs," he said quietly. Carly stared at the money. They had finally gotten enough for the hotel stays for the four of them, food for the four of them, and airfare for the four of them- just that, though.

"Well, it's just a broken window!" Carly protested. "And…a dented car," Sam added sadly. Freddie stared at the interior. "And the interior," he said, hanging his head. "And the man's suit," Spencer added, and they saw the man wearing a ripped up and very wet and soapy suit. They all walked slowly over to the money as Sam sat down, setting her face in her hands.

Spencer returned back several minutes later to find Carly sitting next to Sam, a sad arm around her friend's shoulder as she stared sadly at the cement. Freddie sat next to Carly, his arms folded as he stared at all of the other cars backing up and driving away. The car they had destroyed sped away as fast as possible, tossing scraps of Spencer's ruined invention out the window as he went.

"I'm really sorry guys," he said, and Sam looked up at him, a quiet smile on her face. "Don't worry about it, Spence. It's not your fault," she mumbled. "I shouldn't have taped down the button. Sam, your stomach is bleeding- you wouldn't have had to go in that car if it wasn't for me. The only messed up thing would be the window and side of the car, then." "I should've been helping you guys, not standing around. And _I _should've gone into the car, not shoved Sam in. Sorry, Sam," he mumbled.

Sam glanced over at him, shaking her head. "Don't worry about it, Freddie," she said sadly, and Spencer held out a clean rag to her for her stomach. She leaned back, pressing it against the jagged cut with a sigh as she stared at the half empty box of money. "Thanks," she mumbled half heartedly to Spencer. Sam was always- for whatever reason- nicer when she was depressed.

"On the bright side, we have enough money left for two of us- we can save up and get more, if you want," he said, and Carly shook her head, sighing. "Nobody has sent us donations yet, and we _definitely_ can't have another carwash. Any other money we earn is going to have to go to making sure people don't hold a grudge against iCarly for this," she sighed.

Sam and Freddie looked at each other from over Carly's slumped shoulders, and they both stood up, Sam folding her arms over the rag, and Freddie putting his arm loosely around her. He was shocked when she didn't shrug it off, and Carly seemed surprised as well as she looked up at them. It definitely reinforced the idea that sadness could so easily effect Sam's actions.

"Carly, go to Hawaii," Sam said simply, and Carly raised her eyebrows, surprised. "Sam, I couldn't just leave-," "You have enough for you and Spencer to go to Hawaii for two weeks. Sam and I can handle iCarly on our own, and I have some money saved up to help out with iCarly too." Freddie nodded, and Carly looked up at them, her eyes wide.

"You two go to Hawaii and have fun," Sam said, trying to hide her sadness. She didn't want to make Spencer feel guilty for making faulty inventions, and she didn't want to upset Carly by making it seem like she had actually wanted to go to Hawaii- but she _had_ been getting really excited about going.

Freddie dropped his arm back to his side as Carly stood up, bringing them both into a group hug. Sam dropped her rag, smiling at her friend until her head rested on her shoulder and she stared off sadly into the distance. She noted Freddie doing the same on Carly's other shoulder. Sam felt incredibly stupid- against her better judgment; she had let herself get excited about this trip. It just proved to her that it was stupid to get her hopes up.

When they all broke away, they were smiling again. "Are you guys sure about this?" Carly asked, a grin on her face. Freddie and Sam exchanged another look before they looked back at Carly, nodding. "Positive," they said at the same time, both letting loose a small, slightly fake laugh.

"You two are the best!" Carly grinned, hugging Sam again before she went to collect the money and help Spencer, who was now cleaning up.

"So, two weeks stuck together," Sam mumbled, hanging her head. "Like you're even going to hang around with me when Carly's gone," Freddie snorted, and Sam smirked at him, shaking her head.

"I'll be your only friend when she leaves, Freddork- I have enough mercy to be seen with you alone in public for the next two weeks, at least. Just don't start getting all touchy feely again," her smirk stretched wider, and Freddie rolled his eyes.

He looked at her cut. "Sorry, about that," he gestured. She looked down, shrugging.

"I musta cut you up worse than that when I pushed you down the stairs last week," she shrugged as she walked over to help Spencer and Carly. Freddie grinned after her for a moment- and felt the scars he _still_ had on his back with slight annoyance.


	3. Height

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, or any of the characters on it.

Author's Note: So, here comes the start of the basis of the title: in this chapter, we begin to explore Freddie's perfect girl criteria. xD

"I'm happy that you're going off for this _amazing_ trip and all Carls, but," Sam sighed as she banged her head against the wall. "I'm going to be stuck with Freddork for _two whole weeks_!" she called out angrily as she continued slamming her head against it. Carly hesitated from zipping up the last suitcase- she only had a few minutes to comfort her friend before she left, so she wanted to make it worthwhile.

"Sam, please- and I am very serious when I say this- please don't let me return to find one of you dead up in the iCarly studio. And if you cause him physical pain- because I do doubt it'll be vice versa- don't do it during a web cast. I don't want to lose viewers," she said with a mock sadness thick in her voice as she patted her friend's shoulder, and Sam involuntarily smirked at the thought.

Zipping up Carly's suitcase for her, she snaked her arm around the handle and started to drag it down the stairs. "I'll help you get this stuff down," she mumbled, grabbing her friend's backpack as well as continued down. Carly grabbed her last suitcase with an _oomph! _of discomfort and followed her friend.

When they reached the lobby, Spencer and Freddie were waiting with all of the belongings Spencer had decided to bring littered around them. Freddie and Sam exchanged a knowing look- they hated the thought of being stuck in cold Seattle while their friends were in the sunny state of Hawaii.

"We're really going to miss you guys," Carly sighed as Sam set her friend's belongings down and they shared a short embrace. Spencer pulled Sam into a one handed hug, picking up his bags again when they broke away.

"Have a fun time, you guys," he told Freddie, and Carly patted Freddie on the shoulder as he sighed. "Have fun Carly," he said, his eyes wide as he stared at the girl. Sam rolled her eyes, turning away as she picked up a few bags to help Spencer carry them out to the car.

Suddenly, Spencer dropped one bag to the floor. "Wait, Sam," he said, and Sam tilted her head to the side, dropping one bag as well. He dug through his left pocket, stretching his hand across awkwardly with a strange look on his face as he tossed nails, rubber bands, straws and paperclips out of his pockets. Sam narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but she was too used to Spencer to be surprised.

"A mess in my lobby!" Lewbert shrieked nearby, and they all turned to stare at him for a moment as he slammed his head into the wall, much like Sam had done earlier.

"Feel stupid?" Carly asked Sam with a small smirk playing on her lips. Sam merely rolled her eyes, grinning over at her as Freddie watched them in confusion, his head cocked to one side as he heaved up a few of Carly's bags.

Finally, Spencer triumphantly produced from his pocket one small golden key, holding it up to the light above his head. Carly rolled her eyes as her brother let loose a long held, "Aw!" and grabbed the key from his hands. A smile stayed on her lips as her brother turned with a mixture of annoyance and stifled laughter on his face.

"Here you go Sam- it'll be easier than picking the lock on our door every time you come over," Carly grinned at the blonde as she stretched out her hand to pass over the key. Sam stared at the key with slightly wide eyes, obvious surprise as she snatched it away as if Carly would yank her hand back.

"Whoa, thanks cupcake. I can start leaving the barrettes at home, then," she smirked, and Carly grinned. "I'm gonna miss you," she sighed, bringing Sam, Freddie and Spencer into a group hug. Lewbert glared at them, but they all ignored him as they savored the last moment that they would have together for the next two long weeks- and they all suspected those weeks would drag on longer than usual.

After heaving all of the Shay's belongings into the car, Freddie and Sam sadly watched their friends drive off into the distance.

Of course, as soon as they were gone Sam turned and bounded back into the building and up the stairs, smirking at her key. Freddie stared after her in shock, watching as she disappeared up the stairs before he shrieked and leaped into the elevator.

Freddie expected he would beat her, but when the door opened and he headed into the Shay's open apartment door, he realized it was a stupid expectation. "Sam?" he called when he walked in, disturbed when he didn't see her sitting on the couch as per usual. He shifted uncomfortably on his shoes- there was virtually no padding at the bottom. He felt as if he might as well be walking barefoot.

"Calm down Fredward, I'm right here," Sam rolled her eyes as she walked out of the kitchen, a slice of ham held tightly between her thumb and index finger as she plopped down on their couch, setting her bare feet up across it. Freddie easily knew it was just so that he couldn't sit down.

"Why do you hang out here so much?" he asked with a confused look on his face as he shoved her feet off the couch, sitting next to her. She rolled her eyes at him again as she sat up, but with Carly's request- when you took away the joking- to be nice to him, she knew better than to shoot another insult at him- or, even better- shove him completely off the couch.

He stared at her with confusion as she studied him, and she realized that she was supposed to answer his question. But, for some reason, the question had seemed to escape her. She thought for a long time, and then finally Freddie rolled her eyes, repeating, "Why do you hang out here so much?"

She nodded then, having remembered right when he uttered the first word. She took a big bite of the ham to make sure she didn't have to answer him right away. Sam would never admit it, but there were plenty of times where she'd stayed up late into the night trying to think of comebacks against Freddie- and Freddie would never admit to her, but of course he did the same- though, of course, it never really helped him.

"There's always food here. There's always somebody nearby. There's nobody screaming at the cat to get a job, or asking for you to help her put on lotion," Sam gave an involuntary shudder at that, propping her head up on her hand to stare at him better, since he was giving her such a confused look.

"There's nobody nearby now, though," he said very pointedly, and she rolled her eyes. She resisted the urge to slap him with her ham- there was no reason to ruin perfectly good ham. She took another bite to plan her action- and then Sam flicked him in the forehead and finished off her second slice.

He jumped up, shocked. "You thumped me!" he complained, and Sam rolled her eyes. "Sit down Fredward- or should I say _Captain Obvious_?" she snarled, and he rolled his eyes, turning to walk away. "I don't know why I even followed you here," he rolled his eyes.

Sighing loudly, Sam jumped to her feet, following her towards the door. "Calm down Freddork- not that I _want_ you following me, but we _do_ have to come up with some ideas for iCarly," she said, giving him a pointed expression. Freddie went to stare down at her- and froze.

"What?" Sam demanded. Freddie continued looking down at her, a surprised expression on his face. Sam rolled her eyes at him- the hundredth of the probably many times she would do so in his presence for the next two weeks. "If you don't tell me why you're gawking, I'm going to shove you through the lock in your door!" she threatened, and Freddie backed away.

"Reflexes," he explained when she gave him a strange look, stepping forward again. "It's just- you're shorter than me when you're not wearing shoes," he pointed out, and Sam stared down at her bare feet and then up into his brown eyes, surprised.

All she did was laugh, though, when Freddie had thought for a moment she might _really_ shove him through the tiny lock. "Just because I'm your height doesn't mean I'm your perfect girl Freddork. Now get back in the apartment before your loony mom hears your whimpering so we can get to the ideas!" she snapped, and Freddie obediently stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

Sam's eyes were wide when she turned away though, and Freddie stared after her with shock- thank God there were _six_ things on his list.


	4. Hair

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the other characters on it.

Author's Note: It took me a while to perfect this chapter: hope you enjoy it! :D

"So Freddie, tell 'em what we're going to do next," Sam grinned as she turned to Freddie, propping her left elbow up on his right shoulder. He looked stunned for a moment- they had made sure to put _no_ close contact on the script when she had reminded him of the carwash incident.

She shoved her elbow gently into his neck, and quickly he said, "Nothing! We're not going to do anything, so you might as well start clicking that little red x on the top of your computer screen!" he said in the peppy voice he reserved solely for iCarly.

Getting close to the camera- reluctantly, of course- Sam stared into the screen. She _definitely_ didn't want to be close to Gibby, who was filming for them. She stared for a long time before she easily leapt back in place next to Freddie, propping her elbow right back up. He stared at her, amazed by the swiftness in her motion, and-

"Just kidding!" Sam screamed, and Freddie managed to click in just at the end of _just_. She turned to look at him with a smile, though her eyes had an obvious warning in them as she turned back to the screen.

"Actually, we've got one thing leftover for you- a clip from my best friend," "She's my best friend too!" Freddie protested immediately as he stared up where Carly's face would appear soon. Of course, it wasn't there- he himself had to put it up- but he still turned an annoyed look back to Sam.

With a sigh, Sam turned to the camera to talk to him, rather than actually _look_ at him. "Well Fredward, I'm sorry to say this- but Carly is not your perfect girl. You made that very clear with your list," she said, and Freddie's eyes widened.

An eye for an eye. He should've known not to protest about Carly being his best friend as well- Sam even warned him when he had protested about that part of the script originally. He winced, jumping ahead of himself to stand next to Sam.

"It's just a list, it doesn't actually mean that I'm going to like…fall in love with _just _that girl!" he snapped, and Sam swiveled her gaze onto him, her eyes seeming to bear into his _very existence_.

Or maybe he was just over exaggerating.

"So you'd fall in love with anyone who was your height, had long hair, was independent, was smart, who got along with your mom and shared your interests?" she asked with obvious stifled laughter, and he shrugged.

"I guess so," he said, but as soon as the words escaped his mouth he felt stupid for saying them. It was just more supply for Sam's insults- more ammo, for possibly extremely painful quips.

A smirk lit her face up- of course Freddie had fallen into another one of her traps. "So, say Tareen from our school?" she said, and he shrugged, wincing. "I guess," he mumbled, because he couldn't go back on his word.

"Wendy?" A reluctant nod. "Christina?" Nod. "Heidi?" Nod. "Isabel?" Nod.

The next thing out of her lips seemed to come incredibly fast, and Freddie couldn't even be too sure if she said it. Staring at her lips, it was impossible to tell another word had slipped between them.

"Me?" she said, and Freddie's surprise was evident on screen. He stared at her for a long time- he wasn't even sure if Gibby had heard, she had said it so quietly. He didn't want to break eye contact with her to check, though- he was even more shocked by the shock in _her_ eyes.

"I said, what about Gibby?" she smirked easily, gesturing to the boy behind the camera, who made a face. Freddie mirrored the face, and quickly Sam gestured to the television screen as Carly's happy face came on for the next five minutes, and they ended the show.

Sam trudged downstairs before Freddie could finish packing up- but he had nothing to worry about. As soon as he got to the first floor, he saw Sam practically held hostage in the Shay's apartment by his own mother.

"Really, Samantha, you'd be amazed by the different. You would look so professional!" his mom cooed, and Freddie made a face. He didn't even know _why_ his mock was talking to Sam- she usually referred to her as, "That girl who beats you up?" And of course, she always made sure to say that in public places.

Sam turned to see Freddie with a surprisingly grateful look on her face. "Fredward, could you tell your _mother_-," she said the word almost menacingly. "That my curly hair is practically my _existence_? I think I look a lot better with curls than with _straight_ hair," she said the last two words with thick disgust.

Freddie turned to look at his mother, who quickly protested, "Your hair would look so different Samantha- long, clean," she said, and Sam raised her eyebrows.

"If your loony toon of a-," she started to speak violently in Freddie's face, but he just winced. "Humor her?" he begged, because otherwise he wouldn't ever hear the end of this conversation for weeks- his mother hated when people disagreed with her. Besides, he didn't understand how she couldn't deal with it- he put it up with it on a daily basis, and he was sure Spencer was used to being ordered to change his clothes and let her fix his hair so much he hardly even protested.

If his mother wasn't there, Sam would've easily slammed Freddie into the wall. Or the floor. Or the TV, or the table, or the counter, or any other solid, painful object. His plea was so pathetic in her eyes. 'Humor her.' It was disturbing even thinking about helping Freddie at all.

But she did.

"Fine, Mrs. Benson. Why don't you go ahead and straighten my hair?" she demanded, though she gulped. The thought of Mrs. Benson coming at her with a hot straightening iron was both disturbing and frightful. For all she know, she could slip an insult about Freddie- it wasn't hard to come up with them- and get a hot iron shoved in her mouth.

His mother steered her by her shoulders, and she was so shocked at the woman's sudden tight grip that she forgot to dig her heels into the floor and be a general menace. Freddie smiled victoriously behind her- Carly had spoken to him before she had left, and told him to expect Sam to be a lot nicer.

"I warned her," she had said actually, a menacing tone in her voice that wasn't directed at Freddie. It was as if she were warning him to warn her if Sam was 'misbehaving'- which really surfaced around to beating him to a pulp. "Besides, I'm sure she'll be a lot nicer when I'm gone. How can she be mean, she won't have anyone else to talk to? Well, besides all her other friends..."

Freddie frowned slightly as he sat in his living room, Sam and his mother in the bathroom. The few times that Sam had come into his house, she typically stayed right by his side. "I'm too afraid to be alone with your mother," she would shudder.

The breeze was extremely cold as he sat alone in the living room, trying to act like he didn't miss his two best friends, even though one was just in the other room. His biggest fear about Sam was that she would completely ditch him when Carly wasn't around, leaving him to hang out with Gibby, or Germy- but he would take _that_ to the grave.

Suddenly, he heard a loud shriek, and his eyes widened. Sam stormed from the bathroom, and he thought his mother might have shoved the heat right onto her face to call that scream- but she appeared unscathed.

And she looked extremely different without curly hair.

It was almost like Samantha Puckett wasn't standing in front of him. No, that was completely different from what he was thinking- it was _just _like Samantha Puckett was standing in front of him. But it was _nothing _like when Sam stood in front of him. She didn't look happy. Happiness easily affected her appearance- though he had to admit, her hair looked nice straightened.

Of course, that didn't take away from the unattractive- plainly _frightening_ look on her face.

Her hair hung down past her waist- and with a shudder; he remembered the perfect girl criteria. It was almost _disturbing_ to think that Sam was fitting into it. His lips still curled into a smile, though. At least she wouldn't have _any_ shared interests with him. There was nothing technical about her.

"Your hair looks nice," Freddie said carefully, making it seem like her hair was just a friend standing next to her. He didn't want to compliment just her- she would cause too much physical pain. He also didn't just want her to go uncomplimented- he didn't even know _how_ she would react to that, or if she wouldn't even notice- which seemed to bother him even more.

"Shut up, Fredward," she said, and he could see his mother watching her with a smile. She was pleased of course, thinking how she had tamed this girl.

"Actually, Freddie, thanks," Sam said, putting on a sincere smile as she stretched forward to hug him.

How wrong his mother had been.

Freddie winced in pain as his underwear reached heights it was never meant to be. "If you ever leave me alone with your psycho mother-," she said threateningly, but seemed to shrink back when she wondered if his mother had heard- one glance over her shoulder proved she hadn't, though she was watching Freddie's pained expression with narrowed eyes.

"Are you alright, Freddie?" she demanded, and Sam turned to handle it easily. "Oh, don't worry Mrs. Benson. He just can't believe how different I look," she said smugly, and Freddie tried to hide the pain as his mother looked at him- studied him. She walked to the kitchen, pleased.

"Don't overexert yourself Freddie, I'm thinking about trying those swimming lessons again!" she called out. Freddie turned instinctively to Sam, waiting to hear some insult.

She was gone from the place she had been previously standing, gone from right in front of him.

But he thought he saw a flash of straight gold hair disappear through the doorway, along with the sound of hysterical laughter.


	5. Independence

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters on it.

Author's Note: Ah, I had my 'Eureka moment!' for this story! If anybody has ever read An Abundance of Katherines you would understand that. xD So here is a new chapter it's been a while, huh? that I hope you enjoy. I'm definitely looking forward to writing the end now!

"Oh man, Carls, I thought this was going to be easy- couldn't Spencer have stayed behind?" Sam complained quickly on the phone, continuously checking the door- Freddie was supposed to show up soon, and she didn't want to give him a chance to talk to his 'one true love.' It was truly sickening looking at his face when he just heard Carly's name- she didn't want to see him talking on the phone to her. Even the thought was just _disgusting_.

Carly laughed on the other end, having been woken up from a nap by her friend. "Sam, calm down- Freddie can't be that bad. What, did he force you to take swim lessons with him and his mom?" she snickered on the other line. Sam just rolled her eyes, saying simply, "No, I got away at the mention of the lessons."

Carly's laughter halted when she realized that her joke was reality.

"He's only hanging out with me in case you call me or something I bet, just so he could talk to you- he breaks script on iCarly, makes _Gibby_ film for us, and he made me let his mother _straighten my hair_!" Sam's voice got louder and louder as she vented on about Freddie- who she had to admit, wasn't _that_ bad. She was more annoyed about his mother straightening her hair, and the way his face would light up if he found out she was talking to Carly.

Freddie showed up in the doorway then, and Sam interrupted Carly quickly. "I'm sorry, you have the wrong number," she said robotically, nodding in Freddie's direction to acknowledge his appearance. He just rolled his eyes, closing the door behind him as he took a seat on the couch next to her, as per usual.

"What are you talking about?" Carly demanded. Freddie turned to look at the phone, but Sam was amazed when he didn't recognize the voice. "Stop bothering me!" Sam yelled, whispering into the phone so subtly that Freddie didn't even notice, "Get a hold of this."

Holding the phone out to Freddie with a sigh, Sam said, "Would you tell this dude that I don't want to talk to him?" Freddie stared at Sam for a moment, shocked that she wouldn't be able to scare the man off- but obediently took it. "Would you please not call here again?" he demanded, though his voice was pathetically polite at the same time.

Sam rolled her eyes, but a smirk lit her face as she heard her best friend say, "Well God, Freddie, it is my house!" and hang up the phone.

Freddie stared at the phone for a long time, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe he had just told the girl of his _dreams_ not to call her own house again- but the astonishment quickly turned to anger as he looked to where Sam had been sitting.

Of course, she wasn't there anymore.

"Sam!" he shouted into what appeared to be an empty house. It didn't surprise him to see the door open, and the refrigerator door open as well, with a slice of ham missing. He narrowed his eyes, shoving the fridge door closed before he stormed out to find Sam.

It wasn't hard to find her. It was hard to persuade his mother to let him leave the apartment building- even harder when he mentioned that he was looking for Sam of all people. But it wasn't hard to find Sam herself. She never strayed far from this part of Seattle- it was rather far from her own home, which she stayed as far away from as possible.

She was sitting on the front steps of a store across the street, her arms folded gently across her chest- of course she had already finished her slice of ham. She was holding her cell phone- cradling it, really- in the crook of her shoulder, forced there due to her ear being shoved hard upon it.

"Of course he didn't mean it Carls, chill," he could hear her say. She didn't seem to notice him. She was leaning against the staircase with her cheek pressed against the cool stone, her eyes closed. Her voice was peppy as usually- it seemed to always be when she was speaking to Carly- but her appearance was depressed as she clenched her jaw tightly to turn her face up towards the sky.

"I'll get to my house soon-," she started again, and Freddie frowned. Had she not been to her house in the past couple of days? It was a strange concept, but he supposed he shouldn't be surprised; she _did_ spend most of her time at the apartments. "I'll go to my house eventually, it's not like my mom cares. I just tell her I'm staying with you guys and she chills- calm down, I just sleep on the couch," the small smile formed quietly on Sam's lips as she listened to her best friend's probable protests.

Freddie came up on her other side, where she couldn't see him, so he could listen easier to her. He knew it was stupid- she would probably stand up when she finished the call and beat him, but it was worth a shot.

Sam laughed faintly. "Carly, I don't know if you've ever noticed, but my mother isn't exactly up to par in the whole parenting scheme. In between waxing the table legs and debating with forks, there isn't much time for sanity. I'm…" she drifted off, and Freddie could tell she was trying to find the perfect word.

"Independent," he answered, feeling idiotic once he said it. He didn't want her to know he had been standing here, practically spying on her- but it was too late for that. Her eyes snapped open and she turned her gaze onto him- and it was deadly.

"Yes, that was Freddie," Sam said, then paused, the evil look on her face not disappearing. "I thought I had too- I don't know why he came out here. Yeah, I know right? His mother _is_ off the deep end," she snickered, and Freddie felt more out of the joke than he ever had.

She snapped the phone shut with a half hearted, "Alright, good bye," a moment later, and stood up with squared shoulders to face Freddie, who shrunk away from her, more grateful than ever for the cold staircase in between them. Witnesses paced up and down the street- another good thing. Sam was violent, but he doubted she wanted to spend a night in juvenile hall.

"Why would you try to make my life horrible, Fredward?" she snarled. Once again, his voice sounded like it was a horrible curse word when it hit _her_ tongue. He winced at the tone of voice she had, and tried not to look at her tightly clenched fists- he hoped she was just trying to scare him.

"What are you talking about?" he managed to choke out innocently. He was rather confused; following her outside hardly counted for making her life horrible. If she was counting annoying things he'd done, his existence might be one she would bring up, but not his appearance next to her.

It seemed almost like she hissed, or growled even. "Are you trying to make me think I'm your 'perfect girl?' Is this why you keep bringing up this stuff? It's not funny- it's annoying, and _disturbing_," she snarled at him evilly, and he kept his eyes wide open.

He hadn't even thought about that- but why did he notice these things? He had noticed her height, he had noticed her hair, and now he was calling her independent- it seemed like the 'perfect girl criteria' he had created was lacking a few key parts- kind, innocent, honest- all things that Sam was not. He wanted to edit it- but then Sam would just take that as an insult, which would be even more dangerous for him.

"I didn't mean for you to fit the perfect girl-," he stopped there, because she was glaring at him. After several long seconds, he spoke in a choked voice, "I don't want you to be my perfect girl, of course- I mean, you're like, my total opposite. I'm quiet and smart, and you're…" he drifted off at the low noise echoing in her throat as she stepped around the staircase.

She grabbed the collar of his shirt tightly, and for a second a smile showed on his face- caused by the lurch in his stomach, no doubt- but it disappeared when she shoved him to the floor.

He watched as she walked across the street, focusing on her feet. He wanted to scream out, "Look out for the cars, Sam! Don't go near that guy, Sam! Be careful!" but it would be stupid. He had just called her independent himself, hadn't he? So he watched her walk away from him.

She paused at the door, appearing to be getting over this quickly- but Sam wasn't one for grudges.

What a lie.

Sam would hold this moment against him for possibly the rest of his life, for all he knew. But she would pretend it didn't happen, and she would ignore it. He wouldn't know when she went to hit him, but it would be behind that punch, making it more painful. He didn't know this all for sure- but he could tell, from every time he had 'annoyed' her.

"Fredward!" she screamed, and he blushed when people turned and laughed at him, thinking she was joking. He didn't know what was so hilarious about his name, but they were all thought it was hysterical. "You better show up tomorrow for iCarly!" she said threateningly, and he just nodded his head- it was safer than opening his mouth to speak again, that was for sure.

With another glance in his direction- her face expressionless this time- she turned and fled into the apartment building. He could see through the windows that she was nearly running up the stairs.

"Thank God," he said softly to himself, as he stood up. He had a lot of things to be thankful for- thankful she hadn't ruined his clothes. Thankful he wasn't bleeding. Thankful there were witnesses around to make sure she didn't hurt him too badly. But he said out loud, "Thank God she'll never get along with my mom," and thought even more about the perfect girl criteria as he walked to the crosswalk.


	6. Intelligence

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any other characters on it.

Author's Note: So this chapter is a bit insulting for poor Sam- please don't be too annoyed with Freddie, as I was when writing how I pictured his reaction. xD Enjoy!

"Fine Gibby, we'll do your stupid quiz show!" Sam was shouting when Freddie walked out of the elevator, opening his laptop as he moved. Sam turned to face him with dark eyes, but she didn't say anything- she merely bounded over to where they kept the props from iWin A Date and dug in until she found one of the microphones they had worn.

"Wear this. Nobody wants to hear your actual voice when you ask us questions," Sam hissed at him, and when she looked at Freddie he obediently went to work typing furiously to fix up the program to change Gibby's voice.

When Sam had drug two chairs to the center of the room and a table as well- Freddie marveled at her strength- she set down the remote she usually had in the middle of the table. "Come here Fredward!" she commanded as she swatted dust off the table, and Freddie obediently trotted over to her, eager to make sure she wasn't truly angry at him yesterday for listening in.

"Gibby wants us to do a quiz show- he'll ask us questions, and we try to reach for the remote first to push this button," she yanked on his hand and shoved his index finger against a small purple button. A loud buzzing sound filled the studio, and Freddie glanced at their intertwined hands. Of course, Sam tossed his hand away soon, stepping past Gibby with a glare in his direction before she took a swing from the water bottle next to Freddie's laptop.

"What's the point of this quiz show anyways, Gibby?" Freddie asked, watching Gibby carefully as he set up the camera. He knew how annoyed Sam was that Gibby of all people had to film them, but he was surprisingly good with cameras- Freddie didn't trust his equipment with him completely of course, but he still thought Gibby the best man for the job.

Shrugging sheepishly, Gibby admitted, "I promised my friends that I would ask some of the questions they got together to you guys. They want me to read their names and everything too," he said, holding up a stack of cards proudly.

Sam started laughing hysterically. "You don't have any friends Gibby. People paid you to do this, didn't they?" she asked with a sneer in his direction, and- wincing a bit- Gibby nodded. Freddie sighed as he looked at Gibby's pathetic willpower. If it was _him_ in Gibby's place, he would've lied to Sam at least, even though she would, of course, know the truth.

When everything was set up, Sam hid behind Freddie very efficiently. She was out of the view of the camera, clutching onto his legs tightly as she peered around to Gibby for the cue of when to pop out. It was a plan they had set up originally for Sam to jump out from behind Carly- but they were a little lost for ideas without Carly here with them lately.

"Hey iCarly viewers! I'm Freddie!" Freddie said in a peppy voice, and then looked around slowly. It was hard to pretend he was so unsure about what was going to happen next, but they _did_ rehearse this constantly, and he was aware the whole time that she was right there behind him.

She dug her fingers into his lower thigh to remind him to keep speaking.

"Uhm…Sam?" he asked equally slowly, narrowing his eyes as he turned to the look the other direction. He went to look behind him when…

Sam leapt out from behind him. Even though he knew it was going to happen, he still squirmed away from her with a squeal and fell down. Sam smirked very victoriously, bursting out in an even peppier voice, "Hey everyone, I'm Sam here. If you'll notice why Freddie is on the floor, it's because I'm about to _floor him_ by beating him in a game of smarts. Eh, get it, get it?" Sam grinned as she elbowed Freddie when he stood up.

The joke had been planned for another competition, but Freddie couldn't help but think that this would be a lot easier. He mirrored her smile and she frowned at him. He was supposed to have been annoyed.

"Stop grinning at me like that, Freddork!" she huffed, taking her seat quickly as she smiled angelically up at the camera that did a close up on her. It was annoying, watching Gibby focus the camera on her as Freddie himself sat down next to her. He was _supposed_ to be starring next to her, but iCarly was plainly focused around her without Carly here. She _was_ the funnier one, though. He had to admit that much.

"Don't kid yourself, Sam," Freddie finally snapped. It was uncomfortable saying anything in iCarly that wasn't rehearsed. He was always too slow to come up with insults, and even Sam had to take a minute to realize he was finally getting in a comeback from her earlier crack.

He continued despite her rolling eyes. "Well, iCarly fans, we're having a quiz show right now- a contest for the _intelligent_," he emphasized the word as he looked at Sam, who narrowed her eyes.

He was glad they were broadcasting live so if she _did_ start hitting him, police would arrive soon.

"Are you trying to say I'm not _smart_, Fredward?" Sam hissed at him through gritted teeth, and he kept a tight grip on one of the table legs, trying to back away from her as quickly as possible. When she saw what he was truly afraid, she patted him- Freddie would describe it as gently _slapped_- on the cheek twice before turning back affectionately towards the camera.

When the game was explained, Gibby set the camera on its stand and shuffled through the cards. Sam and Freddie each kept one hand on the arm of their chair, staring intently at the boy.

"Okay, this question comes from Paul Jackson: what famous document begins with 'When in the course of human events-,'" Freddie slapped his hand hard on the buzzer, and Sam winced at his sound of victory when he smirked over in her direction.

"The Declaration of Independence!" he snapped loudly, and Gibby nodded to Sam, who reluctantly pushed the applause button. "Correct!" Sam and Gibby cried out enthusiastically, though Sam's eyes seemed like they were on fire.

Freddie turned to the chalkboard behind them and gave himself one point, drawing a thick white line under his name before he set the chalk sliver back down. He continued to smirk over at Sam, resting his hand now casually on the arm of the chair.

"Okay, next one is from Emily Morrow: Who became famous for saying: 'A billion dollars isn't worth what it used to be?'" He asked, and he instinctively turned to Freddie- but it wasn't his hand that shot forward.

"J. Paul Getty!" Sam cried out, and Gibby and Freddie turned to her in total shock as Gibby checked, double checked, triple checked…quadruple checked the note card in his hand before he said, "Correct."

Sam pushed the applause button and held it for longer than she had for Freddie, turning very smugly to the board behind her so that she could give herself a point. She took her time dragging the chalk slowly down the board, making sure the noise could be heard as she glowered at Freddie. He pretended to ignore her, but his hand balled up into a fist next to him.

"That was a stupid question," he pointed out, and Sam just rolled her eyes, nodding for Gibby to continue.

"This is from Anna Sanchez: what California city did the last Pony Express ride in?" he looked to Freddie again, but Sam's hand shot forward long before his leaped from his side.

Her word came out as almost a blur, but the moment she said, "Sacramento!" Gibby grinned and cried out, "Correct!" He looked at Freddie, but the brunette still sat very still, not even pushing the applause button. Sam glanced over at him- trying to mask the slight hurt in her eyes- as she pushed the button and gave herself another point.

It continued on like that- though Freddie got one more point on a technical question Sam didn't know. But Sam's good reflexes and surprising knowledge earned her point after point- at the end of the game she had twelve points while Freddie had two.

"The winner is…" Gibby said dramatically from behind the screen as Freddie and Sam stood up for the audience to see the score.

"Sam Puckett, for a score of twelve points to two!" he himself pushed the applause button, since the only time it had been pushed in the last few moments was when Freddie got the point, and Sam had pushed it for him.

"Well, that brings the end of this iCarly broadcast!" Freddie said, the first time he had spoken since his victorious, "Yes!" when he finally scored another point. Sam shot him an annoyed look through narrowed eyes as she said, "I'm Sam, that's Freddie, the end!" and stormed off.

Freddie stared off at her with confusion, his head cocked to one side. He looked to Gibby for assistance, but the boy avoided Freddie's eyes as he started to turn off the equipment.

"What's with her?" Freddie demanded anyways, stepping in for Gibby to turn everything off himself. He got through it quickly, his fingers flying instantly to every button he needed to push, though he kept his eyes focused on the staircase Sam had disappeared down.

"Well, you were kind of…" Gibby hesitated, wincing when he met his friend's eyes. "You were kind of a jerk," he said finally, gathering his things quickly. He didn't want to be here as much as Sam hadn't wanted to be there.

Freddie looked surprised. "What do you mean?" he demanded, looking annoyed immediately. Gibby winced.

"Well, you wouldn't push the applause button for her even when she did for you. You called the questions she got right easy or stupid. When you got that second one right you completely rubbed it in her face. She was so…weirdly happy to be smart. You sort of…crushed her," Gibby said disapprovingly as he disappeared down the stairs.

Freddie winced as well, thinking it over as he went to his laptop to watch the show again. He watched his expressions carefully, getting more and more annoyed with himself.

He didn't finish it all, and bounded down the stairs instead.

He had to fix things.


	7. Mrs Benson and The Plan

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters on it.

Author's Note: I really like this story. :D The Perfect Girl criteria idea is so far a success. xD Enjoy!

When Freddie got downstairs, he was surprised to see the door hanging open. _Did Sam really just leave their house all open like this?_ He asked himself, but it wasn't something he really needed to think about. The answer was pretty obvious; she had done it before, and she would do it again. Only now she had a pretty good reason for doing it.

"Sam?" he called through the empty house, and that was when he heard it. The high pitched squeal of laughter he so randomly heard, coming straight from his apartment. Of course it wasn't Sam- her laugh was much too deep for that. It was a laugh that matched the constant, frantic screaming. It was a laugh he missed a lot throughout the house, really.

His mother laughed again.

He walked slowly through his open apartment door, and he could just see Sam next to his mother, who was laughing and slamming her hand against her knee. He could barely see the slightly wary, yet surprisingly kind look on Sam's face. "I agree completely!" his mom cooed, and then Sam raised her hand- and Freddie was fully prepared to launch himself across the room screaming, "It's me you want, not my mother!" but there was no need too.

He jumped into a spot behind the couch, where he could still see the girls through the crack between the seats. Sam placed her hand on his mother's shoulder, and he cocked one eyebrow. This was so…_weird_.

"Thanks Mrs. Benson," she mumbled so quietly he almost couldn't hear her, and then she started spooning some of his mother's casserole surprise into her mouth. Freddie smirked at the idea of telling Sam what the 'surprise' was, but he was too preoccupied with why Sam was being civil to his mom, and not making fun of her like she usually did.

"Well, with your best friend gone and your mother…" his mom drifted off and started up again quickly, "And this _being_ about Freddie, its very logical that you came to me," she said, and Sam gave her a tiny grin, looking away weirdly. Freddie smirked a bit- so she wasn't being _really_ nice to his mom, but she was at least getting along with her.

He felt his throat close up suddenly, but he also felt a strange jolt shock through him, like it was pounding his spine. What had the Perfect Girl Criteria been again? Long hair, which of course Sam had. Height, which he was still pretty surprised about. Independent, which he should've known about her right off the bat. It was the main word that came to your mind when you thought of Sam Puckett. She had to be smart, and she had proven that by beating him. She had to get along with his mom…

One left.

Freddie knew he should've been extremely nervous about this. Hadn't he said he would 'fall in love' with the girl who fit into his perfect girl criteria the other day? Hadn't she said…or had she? It was always so hard to tell with Sam.

It was coming to him slowly, as he watched Sam's eyes widen from the casserole's 'SURPRISE!' as she pushed the bowl away. He watched her blonde hair sway into her face as she looked up at Mrs. Benson awkwardly, probably trying to find out how she could politely get out of the strange hold his mother had on her arm as she filled out a crossword puzzle, occasionally pointing something out to Sam, who just nodded. He saw her blue eyes flicker towards his hiding spot for a moment, as if she _knew_ he was there- but how could she, anyways?

It hit him. It hit him right then and there why everything was falling into pieces. He was noticing Sam. He was _really_ noticing her. With Carly out of the picture- what had he noticed about Carly, anyways? Had he ever noticed if her hair shone even in artificial light, the way Sam's did as she tried to kindly pry his mother's fingers off of her arm? Had he noticed the way Carly's eyes shined when she shot a particularly good insult at her 'enemy?' Was there ever a time when he had hoped that Carly would fit into his perfect girl criteria?

Why was he even thinking about Carly so much? What was the point, if she didn't return any of the feelings he felt for her? And why _did_ he like her? Had he ever even asked himself this? When was the last time he sat down with Carly and actually talked- not about doing something for her, that is? Carly never even talked to him until she _needed_ him for iCarly.

Why were all of these questions so hard to answer when they were about Sam, and so easy to answer when they were about Carly?

He wasn't 'in love' with Carly. What _was_ love, anyways? How could he ever have thought he would be in love with someone who never even expressed interest in him?

But Sam was right there the whole way. She could've totally ditched him, but she still hung out with him. He had been a jerk to her, and she had come to talk to his mom. The fact that she hadn't killed him had to mean something, didn't it?

She pushed herself away from the table, shot a pointed look at his hiding spot, narrowed her eyes, and then walked away. The tiniest hint of a smile was pulling at her lips.

Freddie didn't question how in the world she had known that he was hiding there. Wasn't it obvious, anyways? She was Sam. She would always know what he was up to. For all he knew, she might've hidden in the exact same hiding spot. She had probably seen a lot more of his life than he even expected. He watched her walk out of the door, craning his head until it was smushed completely into the couch.

With a grin and a grimace, a surge of warmth and sweaty palms, he realized one thing he denied about Sam. Why? Because she was _Sam_. She was _supposed_ to be his enemy. Enemies weren't supposed to care about each other. But what had happened to him?

He was falling for Sam.

It was so obvious. It was right there in front of him. She was fitting right into his perfect girl criteria. Did he really need to follow her around, embarrass himself, and smash his face into a couch to find that out?

The answer was yes. He was pretty sure all of that stuff had been necessary. Stuff with Sam took time to figure out, and you couldn't cut any corners.

There it was. The cold, hard truth looking him in the face. He cared about Sam. Possibly a lot. And what had he just done to the girl he had a crush on?

He crushed her. In the worst possible way, he crushed her.

He leapt to his feet and sprinted into the hallway, but stopped short when he saw Sam standing there, her back turned on him.

She didn't turn to look at him, but he knew she probably knew he was there. She was concentrating hard on the phone though- she stayed completely motionless as she listened to the voice buzzing in.

Freddie ignored the conversation. He didn't pay attention to Sam when she said, "What do you mean, you still _love_ him? Mom!" and he didn't realize she whispered, "Mom, you know what he does!" He was focusing too much on what he was going to do.

He was so prepared to tell her now, but suddenly that plan looked completely idiotic. He just mocked her on a live broadcasted web cast, and then wanted to tell her he was maybe even _falling in love_ with her and hope she suddenly returned the feelings and cared about him as well?

Sam would never change that easily. He had to fix things first. He needed to wait for the perfect moment to tell her exactly how he felt about her. He needed to wait for the moment when he was sure she would actually listen to him, not punch him, and…well, that was the most he could hope for with her.

He would tell her _if_ she fit into the last part of the perfect girl criteria. The idea of her expressing interest in something he liked as well seemed so bizarre, he knew it would give her plenty of time. It would be enough time to flatter her as much as possible, to try to build a real friendship with her- to start building a _relationship _with her.

And if she said no? If she totally rejected him, told him she hated his guts?

He swallowed loudly as she shut her phone closed with loud _crack_. Well, first off, she would probably do _that_ to his spine. Then she would probably laugh about it with Carly.

He had to do everything _right_.

Which meant, he needed all the time he could get. The Perfect Girl Criteria was suddenly something he knew she could never tease him about.

She was his perfect girl.

"I want some ham," Sam mumbled absentmindedly, opening the door to the Shay's apartment that Freddie had closed behind her. He half expected her to slam the door in his face, but she held it open for him, letting it close when she was sure he would be able to catch it.

Freddie had three theories about that. His first theory was that she didn't know he was there, and so hadn't even meant to be polite, just quiet. Maybe so he wouldn't hear her, for all he knew.

That seemed stupid. Sam had _dog_ hearing. He bet if someone dropped a slice of ham a mile away she would prick her ears. So, he continued on to his second theory: maybe _she_ cared about him too, and didn't want to cause him physical pain by slamming the door in his face.

Unlikely.

Theory three seemed more reasonable: it was something he had noticed time and time again. When Sam was upset, she just didn't have the power to keep up with her insults and being mean to him. When Sam was upset, she was actually pretty _nice_ to him. But only when she was _upset_ upset.

It never occurred to him that it was because of the phone conversation- he, of course, had totally ignored the phone conversation as he pieced together a plan to 'woo' her. He felt terrible, thinking he was the reason she was so upset.

"Sam, I'm so sorry!" he said finally, when she was in the process of swallowing a thick slice of ham hole.

She stared at him for a moment, finishing the ham up as she did so. She took her time, closed her eyes- and opened them with a smirk on her face.

"Is this apology for calling me stupid, making me _feel_ stupid, spying on me, or just for your existence, which _does_ require an apology?" she sneered, but her tone was halfhearted. This attempt at insulting was even more upsetting to Freddie then her being nice to him- they had quite a twisted relationship.

"Sam, I didn't mean to be rude. It's just that…I'm so used to just…getting things faster than people. It's the one thing _I'm_ best at. You're better at insults, fighting- so many things that _I_ should be good at, and I'm not," he mumbled, glancing up to look at her only when he stopped. She had her face turned slightly to the side so he couldn't see her true expression. "I'm sorry," he repeated, hoping she would turn to him. He felt like complete _scum_.

She looked at him for a moment, and then looked at the door, as if she were thinking about something. He realized she was staring into his apartment- was she thinking about something she talked about with his mom?

"Don't worry about it, Freddork. I'm not in the mood for grudges right now. Close the door on your way out- I'll…I'll see you tomorrow," she said after a long hesitation, and then ran up the stairs two at a time.

Slowly, Freddie walked out the door, closing it behind him.


	8. Similar Interests

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the other characters on this show.

Author's Note: Okay, the chapter after this will most likely by the next. I hope you enjoy this chapter then, which will be up tonight. I'm really looking forward to finishing up this story- I've been waiting forever to finally right out the 'eureka moment' I had. xD

"So today on iCarly, we're playing Truth or Dare!" Sam said gleefully, and Freddie pressed the applause button. They had spent the past few days working on rehearsal and this web cast, and things were completely mended. They were going fantastic, actually. It was like they had never even fought.

Freddie smiled as he watched Sam, but she didn't even notice. She was speaking quickly as she explained everything to the camera. She finally turned to Freddie, and he quickly and obediently put on a peppier, less sincere smile to say, "And now here's the first participant in iCarly Truth or Dare!" he shouted into the camera, and he and Sam turned expectantly to the blab cam.

"Hey Freddie, Sam, Gibby! I'm Emily!" a girl said in an excited tone to them. Freddie grinned at her politely, and Sam shouted out, "Hello, Emily!" making a face into the camera lens before it focused back on Emily.

"Okay, Sam, can I ask _you_ for truth or dare?" she asked quietly. She was young, and that was probably the only reason Sam was nice to her and grinned and nodded. Otherwise she would've shot a snarky, "I don't care," at the girl.

Emily thought for a moment, and then finally said, "Truth or dare?"

There was no hesitation. "Dare," Sam said easily. Freddie rolled his eyes. How had he _not_ expected that? But even as he rolled his eyes, he couldn't help but notice the genuine smile on Sam's face as she turned to shoot him a grin over her shoulder. He stared into her blue eyes until she turned back to Emily.

"I dare you to give Gibby a wedgie!" Emily screamed excitedly, and Sam leapt at the camera that lurched its view back to her in one of Gibby's nervous, rigid movements.

"Thanks Emily!" she screamed loudly, and all you could hear was Gibby's screams on the web cast as it focused on Freddie's horrified expression.

Finally, Sam paraded Gibby in front of the camera. His underwear was barely hanging on the tips of his ears, and Gibby nervously stretched his arms forward to snap it off his face. He made a face when it slammed back _near_ its proper spot, and Emily burst out laughing as her face slowly disappeared off the screen and Gibby begrudgingly walked back to his spot behind the camera, wincing at every step.

Another girl came on, asking if she could ask both Sam and Freddie a question. "Sure!" they had agreed in harmony, beaming at each other. _Look at that,_ Freddie was thinking with exuberance at the thought of their simultaneous voices, but Sam felt her stomach churning. _Do I really…?_

She took another dare to get her mind off the subject. Of course, it was give Freddie a wedgie. She gave it to him easy though, pulling his underwear only halfway up his back. He fixed it expertly, having dealt with many of Sam's famous wedgies. He answered a question on what he thought of Carly, saying, "I think she's one of my best friends…and that's it."

Sam stared at him with wide eyes at that, imagining when Carly heard that she would snort her drink out of her noise and scream for joy. Her best friend would consider herself free. Sam smirked at the idea and spoke to the next girl.

She did three more dares, and Freddie answered three more harmless questions. That was when Carly came on screen.

"Oh my god, Carls!" Sam screamed, trying to transport all of her thoughts to her best friend, who gave her a huge smile.

Carly and Sam talked most of the time, and Freddie stayed out of it, even helping Gibby with the technical things at some point. This was the first time Carly and Sam had spoken 'face to face' in almost two weeks, though Sam filled Carly in on every aspect of her life and vice versa. Even though Carly had been filled in just yesterday, there was still a lot Sam wanted to tell her about just today, probably.

Or he hoped that she wanted to tell Carly about just hanging out with him today.

Of course, they babbled about innocent nonsense, and then Gibby cleared his throat and Sam reluctantly asked, "So, cupcake, shoot the truth and dare jank!" She smirked at her friend, who grinned back.

"Freddie- I'm guessing its truth," Carly was the only one to have picked him first, and she sneered at him as she spoke. He rolled his eyes at her, but he still nodded. When she looked back to where Spencer was gesturing furiously at a smoothie outside of the window, he stared at Sam.

Carly and Sam shrugged to each other and ignored Spencer before Carly continued. "Okay, Freddie," she started, grinning more at Sam then at him. "What's your favorite thing to do, besides anything about computer stuff?"

Sam gave Carly a raised eyebrow, confused at the grin, but she turned to see what Freddie's answer was anyways. Halfway through narrowing her eyes at him expectantly, they flew open and she turned a pointed look towards Carly that the girl would probably never get to see. The camera was focused on Freddie for once, not her.

She had told Carly all about the perfect girl criteria, and the one that was left.

The one thing left that both made Sam extremely nervous, and strangely enough excited her as the corners of her mouth turned into a smile while she watched Freddie. The camera focused on her smile for a just a moment, and Sam looked over her shoulder to see Carly smirking.

"I don't really know, Carly, uhm," Freddie was about to say something lame, probably, when Carly interrupted him, saying, "Let me rephrase that question!"

"Aw, come on Carls! We don't have all day," Sam yelled, the nervous side of her taking hold. Carly rolled her eyes.

"Chillax, Sam. Freddie: do you like when you argue with Sam?" Carly asked very simply then, and Sam rolled her eyes, sighing as she turned expectantly towards Freddie, her arms folded across her chest.

Freddie tried to hide the growing grin. It wasn't a surprise to him now how glad he was to find out that Carly wanted him to be with Sam. It was taking every ounce of self control he had, however, not to cheer that Sam had actually retold things about him to Carly.

"'Course I do," he said, feeling stupid once he had said it. What if Sam actually started beating him up, live on air? He suppressed a shudder. That might've offended her, going off on the context that he and Carly _were_ talking about her.

Carly beamed on the blab cam. Sam turned away so that she was facing the wall almost, as if she were staring at Carly. She was afraid her cheeks would betray the feeling in the pit of her stomach, and that they would fight out the hate of dorks around the nation. She was afraid they would be too bright red.

She closed her eyes, concentrated, opened them, and turned around. All of these years spending time with Freddie made it easier to pretend she didn't care when he said something nice. She shot him a small smile and then looked up at Carly expectantly.

"Thanks Freddie!" Carly said peppily, and Sam rolled her eyes. "Come on Carls, enough with the pep. You got any stories about Spence to keep us interested?" she asked, eyeing Spencer in the background of Carly's video as he lounged around outside the windows near the beach. "Great view, by the way," she added, trying desperately to change the subject.

Carly ignored this attempt and said, "Fine, Sam, I'll pick up the pace. Truth or dare?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "You're my best friend, Carly. You should know this by now," she snickered, and Carly rolled her eyes as well.

"Fine, fine. Dare. Okay, Sam," she paused, tilting her head to the side. Gibby yawned behind the camera and she shot a look towards him before finishing up with, "Sam, I dare you to tell me if you like arguing with Freddie too!" she demanded, and Sam gagged.

"Cheater!" she yelled at the screen, and Carly grinned victoriously. One thing Sam had noticed about her best friend: she always won. No matter how bleary the outcome looked, Carly always managed to come out on top. She had the brains, and she probably spent more time then Sam even realized thinking about this.

Gibby made the sound of Jeopardy behind the camera, and Sam turned a menacing glare at him. "I'll take years if I have too, Gibby, and you'll film me the whole time!" she snapped, and he obediently shoved his face behind the equipment to hide from her glare.

Freddie's chest was heaving as he waited for her. He folded his arms across it, trying to make it look like he didn't care if she said yes. As if then the plan wouldn't be coming together, and he wouldn't be telling her any sooner that he liked her.

"'Course I do," Sam mimicked his voice, and Carly beamed at her. "Wow, Sam, it looks like you've fit into every piece of the Per-,"

"And that's all the time we have for iCarly!" Sam yelled out, interrupting Carly. Her best friend merely rolled her eyes, making a face. "I'm Carly!" she shouted anyways, and Sam continued with, "I'm Sam, and this dork here is Fredward!" as she jumped almost onto Freddie's back. He made an annoyed face, but he grinned up at her.

"See you next time!" all three said simultaneously as Carly's happy face disintegrated off of the screen.

Gibby didn't even bother to try and put away the equipment this time. He pulled his jeans up higher and started to tear off downstairs, shouting, "Gotta go! Great show guys!" dancing when he paused to tell them.

"That boy's got the bladder of a puppy," Sam said in a quiet murmur as she started looking through the laptop to make sure the video had gotten onto the computer properly. Freddie ignored the strange statement and started packing up the equipment, afraid to tell her what he had been planning. He hadn't expected to share an interest with her _this_ soon. He thought it would take days, weeks, months…maybe even _years_…

"Hey Fredward," Sam said, suddenly next to him. He let out a girly squeal, leaping at her as he practically tackled her to the floor. She seemed unfazed, lying on the beanie bag he had pushed her onto as he held himself up with his hands on her shoulders, staring down at her with huge eyes.

She snickered once. "Whoa. Didn't know you were such a girl, Freddie," she cackled, and Freddie rolled his eyes a bit, but the shocked look remained on his face the same way he remained holding himself above her, staring down at the face that had haunted his mind. And yet, her presence wasn't quite so haunting anymore.

"Hey Sam," he said quietly, and she watched him, not saying anything. The smirk seemed to have been wiped off of her face as she stared up at him. Freddie tilted his head to the side, preparing. "I want to tell you something," he started, taking a deep breath.

Sam gave him a faint smile, letting her guard down once again, strangely enough. It seemed like she was giving him a chance, almost. The hope in Freddie made him brave enough to continue after her, "Well, I'm listening."

"Okay. Well, you _have_ fit into the whole-," he started, but suddenly Sam's phone went off in an unfamiliar ring tone.

Sam frowned at the sound and shoved him off of her. He landed on the floor with a loud bang, laying there with his eyes closed. He felt rejected, and he felt like he wouldn't be able to get up and walk as his back pounded with pain.

But he opened his eyes when he began to register Sam's happy voice again.

"Really? You mean it, mom?" she asked, and he was surprised to hear Sam's voice so strangely happy while she spoke to her mother. She never sounded happy to talk to her. She never seemed happy whenever her mother was brought up, come to think of it.

"I'll be there in a minute," she said, and Freddie winced- not from the pain. She was leaving. He wouldn't get to tell her. He would have to wait even longer, wait to hear whether or not she cared about him too.

Sam jumped up, and surprisingly she grabbed him around the waist and hauled him up. He beamed at her, unable to remember how upset he had been two moments ago. Sam was ecstatic, a huge grin on her face as she kept her hands on his waist for a moment- as if he would struggle away from her- to say, "Do you still need to tell me whatever you were saying?"

Freddie shook his head. Not right now. Not now, when she was so happy to see her mother- even if right now she had his arms around him, just like he wanted. "It can wait," he said, and he knew it could. It could wait if Sam was really this excited about going home.

"Whatever, bye!" she shoved him away from her effortlessly as she ran down the stairs. Whatever her mother had told her, she was happy.

Freddie could only hope she'd be that happy when he told his 'Perfect Girl' how he felt.


	9. Umbrella

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the other characters on it. I don't own Shake It or Metro Station, either.

(Author's Note on the bottom this time!)

Freddie wasn't sure how long he had stayed in the Shay's living room. All he knew was that after Sam had left, he had managed to walk down the stairs and stretch on the couch and try to think.

He had had the perfect moment right there, within his reach. He should've asked her to stick around just a little bit longer. The words were right there in his mind _still_._ "You have fit into the Perfect Girl criteria, and I know this sounds weird, but I really wanted you too_," and the rest would hopefully come to him _before_ she would have attacked him.

His back ached, but it wasn't as painful as knowing what could've happened right there. With him leaning right over her, he could've told her that he really liked her. Maybe loved her. If she had felt the same way, she would've been right there, agreeing with him. It would've been perfect.

The perfect situation for the perfect girl.

But she had made it perfectly clear (**A/N: No pun intended haha**) that she would rather be with her mom. No matter how unusual it sounded, she had wanted to be with her mom. Had he expected her to always prefer to be with him? When Carly came back, who would be able to say how often he would ever see her? He wouldn't be hanging around Carly like a lovesick puppy anymore- that was for sure.

With this more dominant realization about his feelings towards Sam, it was impossible to keep up with _that_ reason to be around her more often.

So, imagine his surprise when his phone began to ring with Sam's ring tone. The one she herself had set, that he hadn't ever really listened to before.

_And I was thinking of places that I could hide,_

_Tonight you're falling in love (let me go now),_

_The feelings stirring me up (here we go now),_

He hadn't even listened to it before. He just remembered asking, "You liked that song?" when she forced him to pay 2.49 for it, and she had smacked him in the face, starting a fight of course.

"Sam?" he regretted his enthusiastic voice. How stalkerish/creepy did he sound? Overly excited, jumping at the phone…

"Shut up, dork," Sam's voice was a bit muffled, the half hearted attempt at rudeness falling flat. Freddie winced, noticing the difference between her happy voice earlier today and the suddenly depressed voice she was using now.

He stayed quiet, and then asked, "Are you alright?" The song was echoing in his mind painfully, as if she had been singing it to him. He winced again, waiting for her to yell at him. Waiting for her voice to take on more _Sam_, and waiting for her to be more annoyed with him. Waiting for her to just hang up.

"Can you drop off an umbrella at the park around the corner? I would walk over there but I'm stuck under the playground right now, it's raining so hard," she sounded annoyed, but not at him. It was almost hard to tell she was annoyed, too. Her voice still sounded…upset.

"Drop it off?" Freddie repeated, and he imagined her nodding as she said, "Yes. Drop it off. I look…funny," she said, and Freddie rolled his eyes.

"I'll be there in a minute," he said, not willing to make her realize he wouldn't just 'drop it off.' She might go off walking in the rain just because of that.

She hung up the phone, and he listened to the static for a moment.

It didn't take him long to find an umbrella at the Shay's- Spencer had been working on a sculpture of them, so he had a pile filled with tons of them in the corner of the room. He couldn't go home and pick out his mother's five people emergency one- she would demand why he hadn't come home sooner, why he was getting the emergency umbrella, why he was going out in the rain…

So he picked the biggest one he could find and went out.

The rain was pounding outside- he opened the umbrella as soon as he got out of the building. He pulled on his coat tighter, and kept the jacket he had brought for Sam inside of his to keep it dry. She would probably be freezing, out here in the cold.

The thought made him quicken his pace, and he found the park sooner than usual. There she was, sitting under the playground with her back turned. He could hear the faint music coming from the phone she was holding. She was probably trying to amuse herself until he arrived.

"Sam?" he called, dropping to his knees when he got next to her so that he could fit under to where she was. There was a tunnel complete with slides going out in all directions overhead, so no rain hit them now. He set the umbrella down carefully, and she rolled her eyes, not looking at him. Her hair covered her face, dripping onto her clothes, so he couldn't see her expression.

"I told you to just drop an umbrella off, Fredward. Now it looks like you're going to have to walk in the rain," she smirked, and he just rolled his eyes. He should have expected that.

"I'm just going to the apartments; you have to walk all the way to your mom's. You need the umbrella," he tried to make up for his idiocy as if it was typical to walk all the way in the rain down the block and to home.

His mother would probably be furious.

The smirk dripped off of Sam's face slowly as she mumbled under her breath, "Already went there. I'm headed to Carly's. I'll probably just sleep in the studio tonight. Spence has a mattress up there, and I found a sleeping bag- that's where I've been sleeping. Carly will be home today, anyways," she said this all as if it were so normal to not sleep in your home. To hang out at your friend's constantly instead.

"Sam, I thought you _wanted_ to go be with your mom. Why don't you go home?" Freddie asked quietly, not wanting to upset her.

Didn't work much.

She shook a bit, and he pulled the jacket out. She closed her phone and slid it into a case- good thing she had it, or her phone would be soaked going into her soaking jeans pocket- and reached over to take it.

Freddie caught his breath when he saw her face.

She shrugged the jacket on and shoved her hair back around it so it didn't continue to soak her back. There were several bruises starting to form in one place on her cheek, and a cut was oozing slightly in between them. Sam noticed him watching and rolled her eyes, standing up.

"Well, thanks Fredward. I think I'll be heading home now. Well, to the Shay's," she said simply, picking up the umbrella and preparing to walk away without him.

Freddie jumped to his feet and got under the umbrella next time. "Sam, what happened to your face?" he demanded, shocked. Sam cackled a bit, mumbling, "That's something every girl wants to hear."

Freddie blushed.

"Sam, I think your face is beautiful, but you're…bleeding," he said, and he heard Sam breathe in suddenly deeply. He felt stupid when he realized what he had just said- did he want her to beat him up?

She looked over at him for a moment, touching her face gently. "My mom got back with her boyfriend. She lied- told me she dumped him," she mumbled, spitting after she said that like just talking about them gave her some sort of germ.

Freddie stopped in his tracks and had to run to catch up when she kept walking away. "Your mom's…boyfriend did…he _did that_ to you?" he demanded, and Sam laughed a bit, as if it were completely obvious.

She didn't talk again until they got in the apartment, and then she shoved the umbrella into Freddie's hands and said, "Here," as Lewbert screamed and went to get a mop and she dug through her pocket for the Shay's keys.

Freddie had to run up the stairs to keep up with her, and he jumped in the door before she could slam it in his face.

She threw the umbrella onto the rug, kicked her shoes off, and wrapped herself up in a blanket she pulled out from behind the couch to make sure she got nothing wet as she sat gingerly on the couch, staring at the blank television screen while thunder crackled over her head.

"Yes." Sam said then, and Freddie winced when he realized she was answering his earlier question. He sat next to her, putting his arm around her shoulder tentatively. He never knew it could be so painful to feel sympathetic for someone, but he felt like Sam's pain was ripping him up. He had a tissue in his back pocket, and he gave it to her as she pressed it to her face to stop the bleeding on her cheek.

"I'm sorry. I...you have to tell someone," he said, and Sam grinned at him.

"I'm not a coward, Fredward. I am going to tell someone. I'm going to tell Carly and Spencer when they get back. I think Spence is the only adult I can trust with this, you know? He knows how to handle things…" she drifted off, sighing as she rested her head back on the couch and Freddie's shoulder.

He sighed, turning his body so he didn't drop her head, but he could look at her. She was talking about this like it was some kind of joke. "You're not really going to tell him, are you?"

Sam thought for a moment, and then when she said the next words she sounded sure of herself. Not like she was lying, when she had said it earlier to Freddie to get him to shut up. It was like she had actually made the decision now.

"You know what? This has been going on for three years. I think…I don't know," she drifted off again, suddenly nervous at the end. Freddie tightened his grip on her subconsciously, and was surprised at how brave she was acting. But how could he be surprised? She was Sam. He gave her a faint smile.

"I just feel stupid for running to meet them, right when you were about to tell me…whatever you were about to tell me. I shoulda listened. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, you know?" she said, giving a tiny smirk.

Hesitating, Freddie prepared to tell her. He was about to tell her what had been on his mind for days. Maybe weeks, months, years- he couldn't be too sure how long this had been going on without him even realizing it. For all he knew, this realization could've been…

He felt stupid for thinking too much into this. She was waiting.

"You know, you've fit into my whole Perfect Girl criteria," he started, and the smile on Sam's face faded. Her eyes were wide now as she stared at him, and Freddie swallowed hard before he continued.

"And I want to…I do…I…" there were so many things to tell her. He wanted her to care about him. He did care about her. He maybe even loved her.

He wanted to say more, but Sam leaned her face forward and her lips touched his briefly before she rested her face on his chest, her hair shielding her face. He could hear her faint snicker, and he wondered if she was laughing at him. He grinned though, unable to focus on those thoughts. It was hard to think about anything, suddenly.

She had kissed him.

Samantha Puckett had kissed him. Sam had kissed him. His 'perfect girl' had kissed him. And it _was_ somehow perfect. It was everything he could imagine, even with both of them soaking wet, and with her falling asleep as he stretched his arms around her, and with her bloody face.

Because she would listen to him now.

It was so obvious, right there. It was so obvious why she spent time with him even when Carly was gone. Why she had called him. Why she had told him about her mom's boyfriend. Why she always told him that Carly would never love him, and why she was always picking on him…

And he would help her. He would wake her up when it was time, and he would stay with her when she told Carly and Spencer, and when got help…and she would listen to him.

And strangely enough, he thought that maybe she always _had_ listened to him.

And even with everything horrible happening in this moment, it was somehow more perfect than any moment he could remember. Because it _wasn't_ perfect. Nothing was perfect, but there could be something great in a perfect _mess_.

He looked down as Sam's breathing evened into her sleeping state, and he couldn't help but smile as she unconsciously tilted her head, as if she was looking up at him. He leaned his cheek against the top of her head, and he closed his eyes.

There was a lot he still had to tell her.

But now, he knew she would listen.

**3 Hours Later**

"It figures when we come back from the great sunny state of Hawaii and to Seattle its pouring rain," Carly laughed as she entered her apartment. Spencer laughed as well, beginning to agree, but they both stopped short as they looked in front of them.

Sam's head was rested on Freddie, and his head was rested on her's as her hands were held loosely behind his head, and his arms hung behind her back. They both snored gently, their eyes closed.

"I don't think I've ever seen her arms around him when she wasn't trying to strangle him," Carly whispered, and Spencer grinned at her, hanging his arm around his little sister's shoulder.

"Weren't you saying you expected this, Carly?" he smiled at her, glancing back at Freddie and Sam in the most peaceful state he had ever seen them when they were together.

Carly grinned at him. "I wonder when the change of heart happened," she asked, speaking quietly so she didn't wake them. It was nice to come back without seeing any blood- though she noticed a cut on Sam's cheek with a raised eyebrow.

"I think it was always there," Spencer grinned, and they both stepped forward to wake up their friends.

Author's Note: Yay! Ha, I know some of the loose ends aren't tied up, so I'm going to put together an epilogue. I hope this didn't get out of character, but you have to remember that they've been together for two weeks, and a lot of things can happen then to change people. :D The epilogue will be up tomorrow morning, and I'll try to update iNeed Your Help tomorrow as well.


	10. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the other characters in it.

"Wow," Carly said as she sat next to Sam, passing the girl one of the smoothies in her hands. They sat across the street from Sam's house, watching as police drove off down the street with Sam's mom's ex- boyfriend in the back.

Sam took the smoothie, watching them drive off with a small grin on her face. "I know. Weird, huh?" she asked, turning to her friend with a small smile. The scar on her cheek was almost gone, thanks to Freddie's mom's strange, disturbing and _giant_ first aid kit. She had tried every single medication on Sam's face…every fifteen minutes. The bruises were gone as well, the faint yellow spots having disappeared completely.

"I'm sorry I never noticed," Carly said sadly, and Sam patted her friend on the back. She took a long drink of the smoothie before she spoke, giving Carly a smile before she spoke.

"Don't worry about it, Carls. I don't know if you've ever noticed this before, but I'm actually a pretty good liar," she smirked, and Carly rolled her eyes as she mumbled under her breath, "I think everyone's noticed."

Spencer was talking to Sam's mom, comforting her as her tiny cries sobered and then disappeared altogether. Sam and Carly watched still, their heads cocked to one side. "You think your mom is going to be okay?" Carly asked curiously, and Sam shrugged.

"She's a Puckett. We're pretty tough," Sam said cockily, and Carly rolled her eyes again and laughed.

A bright red van pulled up suddenly, parking against the curb a few feet away from the two. Carly and Sam exchanged a look as Freddie's mother leaped out of the seat and towards Sam, lifting her face up into the air. Sam just grinned at her- she didn't mind her as much ever since she had gone to her for advice that day.

"It's healed up nicely, but I bought this new cream that promises to get rid of the scar completely…" she babbled on as she dabbed something along Sam's cheek and tossed the bottle to Carly, who fumbled and dropped it, mumbling something as she crawled to find the tiny bottle in the thick weeds behind her.

Sam didn't notice. She watched as Freddie Benson- her _boyfriend_- got out of the car.

It was still weird to call him that, and yet it was nice. Nicer than she had expected it would be. He had told her everything that had been going through his head for the past two weeks when they went to get smoothies yesterday, and she had told him about what was going on when she wasn't around him, and she told him about what she had talked to Mrs. Benson about- what to do about liking Freddie even though he hated her. And she had admitted to Freddie that Mrs. Benson had told her that she thought Freddie had liked her, and she had laughed and smirked when Freddie turned several shades of red.

She gave him a faint grin, knowing better then to stretch her expression into a full smile. Mrs. Benson could get loud when you interfered with the medicine she was putting on.

"Here you go Carly," Freddie said, nudging the bottle he saw in the grass towards her. She grinned up at him easily now. Carly had confided in Sam how much easier it was to talk to Freddie now, knowing that he didn't really devote himself like that. And Sam was happy about that.

And last night, Sam and her mother had sat on their doorstep and talked with Spencer and Carly waiting in the car. Sam had told her that they were going to call the police, and her mother had sobbed on her shoulder, apologizing. "I was scared, Sammy," she had cried out, and Sam had patted her mother's back…

And she had actually forgiven her.

When Mrs. Benson finished, she patted Sam's cheek gently. "Such a pretty girl," she said, and Sam beamed up at her. It was times like these where most would expect the people to hug, but she had to admit it- the thought of hugging Mrs. Benson was _still_ terrifying. But grateful tears still threatened to spill over as she stared up at the woman who had become a lot more than 'Freddie's freaky mom.'

"Hey Sam," Freddie whispered when Sam walked up to him, and they hugged instantly. They had a surprisingly deep connection when they put aside their bickering. Sam felt connected to him now. But that didn't mean…

"OW!" Freddie screamed as he walked away with a wedgie. He glared at her as he walked behind the car to adjust it, and Carly smirked up at her friend.

"Don't get your underwear in a bunch, Fredward," Sam called, and when Freddie walked back she kissed him on the cheek. He smiled at her, and there was something in his eyes that made her blush a bit.

Finally, Freddie shot back, "You've got a big mouth!"

"Wow, that comeback was uncool in so many ways."

"_You're_ uncool in so many ways!"

"Wow. Now _that_ comeback was uncool in _so_ many ways," Sam smirked at him, and once again, Freddie knew she had won.

Carly stood up, pressing Freddie back as she grinned at him. "Can't say you expected things to change _that_ much, huh?" she asked, and he rolled his eyes, laughing.

"I like it better this way, anyways. It is our shared interest, after all," he glared at Carly, and she shrugged innocently as she hung her arms around each of their shoulders.

"I like it this way too," she said, and Sam hugged her best friend briefly as she smiled at Freddie. He and Sam each stretched their arms around Carly's back as well, and Freddie's hand clutched Sam's arm.

They walked towards Sam's house together, Mrs. Benson squawking about how you needed to check for cars a minimum of four times in each direction, counting to three each time. Spencer grinned at them as Sam's mom told Sam, "I'm going to go make some ham."

"I love you mom," Sam called, and her mother turned around briefly, smiling at her.

"I love you too, Sammy," she whispered almost silently, and Sam and Carly grinned at each as they broke apart, and Sam hung her arm around Freddie's waist and grinned at her friends.

She had Carly, her best friend. She had Spencer, the guy who had become like a brother to her as well. She had the mother who was never going to be perfect, but who was going to try. She had Mrs. Benson, who had promised to be there for her. And now, she had Freddie.

And Freddie had his perfect girl- finally.

Author's Note: There it is, the end of another story of mine. :D I really liked writing this story, I hope you guys all liked it too! If you ever have any ideas of something you want me to right, just tell me, but I've still got iNeed Your Help and I Want You To Know, so I'll still be writing more stories of course. Thanks for reading, reviewing, and being so interested in this story guys. D


End file.
